Super-agreeables are people pleasers – compliant, sweet folks who never want to upset others but who end up doing just that. They lead us to believe they’re in total agreement with our ideas or requests, only to let us down when we expect them to do what they said they would do. These friendly, willing […]
Read MorePLANS. Why do we believe our plans for the future will succeed and are surprised when they don’t? It’s easy to be hopeful about the consequences of good intentions but impossible to know with precision the outcome of a set of sequential events. We underestimate our presumptions and overestimate our strengths. We misunderstand randomness and […]
Read MoreWhat is mastery? It’s not a consequence of genius or talent, though they certainly help. Rather it’s a function of good timing, perseverance and dedicated focus on a particular domain of knowledge. Masters are disciplined, self-directed and highly motivated. Mastery is a journey without end – a life quest – not a destination per se. […]
Read MoreTough Guys (and Gals) are rebels who have decided the price of pleasing others is simply too high. Their purpose in life is to prove they can get by without anyone’s help – that they can make it through challenging situations quite nicely on their own. They have an aversion to dependence and accommodation and […]
Read MoreBullies are contemptuous of their prey. They are generally abusive, abrupt, arbitrary and intimidating. Their tone is one of arrogance and their attack is typically accusatory. They’re stimulated by any sign of submissiveness and their impatience with those who exhibit weakness often manifests in irritation, indignation or anger. They’re “into” power and they use it […]
Read MoreMost of us have a hard time saying no, especially to close friends or family members. For some, it’s almost impossible. Like everything else in life, saying no is a skill and perhaps one of the more important we need to master. The ability to say no, when we don’t want to say yes, is […]
Read MoreFEAR. The greatest cause of our anxiety is fear. But fear and anxiety are not the same thing. Anxiety is spurred by uncertainty, by the assumptions and predictions we make about the future in which we have little confidence. If we could forecast events with certitude, we would be much less anxious. We would know […]
Read MoreIn a relentless effort to achieve sustainable competitive advantage, leaders of the past demonstrated a decided preference for recruiting people with needed technical skills. Twelve years ago, I wrote a blog on this topic emphasizing the lack of appreciation of what are often called “the soft skills.” These include the qualities required for collaboration, adaptability, […]
Read MoreOur brains don’t record what we see; they interpret it to fit our beliefs and desires. And we are unaware of the extent to which or when this happens. We see what we want to see and have been taught to see. Our brains are story tellers: they translate impressions into the language they already understand, […]
Read MoreEveryone lies. We do it for a lot of reasons. We sometimes do it to protect ourselves as well as others from embarrassment or hurt feelings. When your cherished grandmother asks you whether you like her famous family-recipe rhubarb pie, and you really don’t, you likely say you do as you struggle with the second helping. […]
Read MoreUnprecedented. The coronavirus pandemic is often described as an unprecedented event. The word means “never done or known before.” Some aspects of COVID-19, like its global scale, likely are. Others are not. Although many choose to ignore the lessons of history, it offers much needed perspectives. As George Santana said 115 years ago, those who […]
Read MoreHave you ever been asked a question you would rather not answer? We all have. These are questions that are either too difficult to answer, upsetting or confusing. They might reveal our ignorance or be purposefully intended to annoy, frustrate or make us look (or feel) stupid. People ask them all the time, perhaps innocently, sometimes […]
Read MoreA good debate liberates our thinking. A robust but respectful exchange of views is an act of kindness – one that opens and sharpens our minds and gets us closer to the truth. It ought not be a winner-take-all contest where the primary objective is to prove one is wrong and the other right. Civilized discourse isn’t a measurement of who’s smarter; it’s an opportunity to test and exchange theories about life’s inordinate mysteries and complexities.
Read MoreOne reason we get overwhelmed by our to-do lists is because we’re unable to differentiate between what we think should be done and what must be done. A lot of “shoulds” need more time to marinate; these are matters of judgment that require greater contemplation about execution. A student once asked for my help with […]
Read MoreWhat makes even the brightest sometimes squander their brilliance in breathtaking acts of stupidity? Although it’s looking in the rear-view mirror, the 2008 market meltdown is instructive. Some of the most revered business gurus illustrate the case in point. Jamie Dimon, then CEO of J.P. Morgan Chase, one of America’s largest and most respected banks, […]
Read MoreA few of the things I’m thinking about during this period of isolation: Forgiveness. We all do things we wish we could take back, and likely would, if only we had the chance. So why should we hold others accountable for being imperfect and fallible? When we no longer see their behaviour towards us as […]
Read MoreUncertainty. These are uncertain times. Regardless of the dire circumstances we face with this pandemic, rarely does a day in our lives pass without some degree of uncertainty. Our current predicament simply affirms that we can expect more of it, not less. Most people respond to extreme uncertainties with confusion, frustration, anxiety or even panic. Uncertainty […]
Read MoreThis may be a good time to reach out to your network (or build one). All the better, it can continue or start on-line. Many think of networking as a bit like flossing – necessary but not necessarily a lot of fun. A few leaders have told me they abhor networking despite its value. They […]
Read MoreIt has been said by many that great companies, leadership and character are forged through crises. But how do we put COVID-19 in this context? What do those who’ve lived through some of the greatest catastrophes and turning points in the history of humankind know that many have yet to discover? Cornell University gerontologist Karl […]
Read MoreI end my CEO Program with the six things a CEO must do to lead with purpose. One of them is this: your words must have meaning. Although neologisms have always been a integral part of business communications, their occurrence in the workplace is viral. If everyone agreed to use language in the way it […]
Read MoreFifty years ago, I designed my first learning experience for executives who aspired to advance in their professional careers. It was called The Creative Genius Within. Its premise, simply stated, was that each of us was born a genius and that potential is still there – constrained to be sure but ready to be re-awakened. […]
Read MoreSelf-worth. As we age, we shed the innocence of childhood naivete and acquire maturity (or what I prefer to call perspective). We learn that what we think of ourselves is more important than what others think of us. Self-worth has little to do with, therefore does not require, the approval of others. Their expectations should […]
Read MoreThe simplest way to solve a problem is to ask someone who has the expertise needed to suggest a good solution. We rarely help others unless they prompt us by specifically asking for assistance. It’s amazing how generous people can be when they’re asked in the right way. So why don’t we ask more often? […]
Read MoreWe were taught how to speak correctly and persuasively but not how to listen attentively or empathically. This is one reason why, more than ever, we interrupt and talk over others, engage in dialogues of the deaf, and try to shape the narratives we want others to believe. You can get a doctorate in speech […]
Read MoreSelf-knowledge. Socrates distilled the entire realm of philosophy to a single edict: “Know thyself.” Yet can we? Our brain has two minds – the conscious one that reasons and a subconscious one fueled by emotions. This is why we constantly struggle to figure out who we really are. Since there is no easy route to […]
Read MoreSmart leaders don’t know everything they need to know – no one does. But they do need to know enough. They require independent, objective and sometimes contrarian counsel that is highly unlikely to come from within the organization. Why is this so? Because most executives don’t know how to ask for it. And the higher […]
Read MoreThe Trump presidency may have changed the art of diplomacy forever. Negotiating real estate deals and conducting international diplomacy are entirely different. Bargaining in business is not the same as communicating through back channels with defiant coalition partners in the shadow of severe mistrust or hostility. As the self-proclaimed “leader of the free world,” America’s […]
Read MoreThe answers we get are a consequence of the questions we ask. Asking means we want to learn. Answers deepen our understanding, provide solutions to problems, improve relationships, signal competence and overcome the many fictions we tend to believe are true. Naguib Mahfouz, a Nobel laureate for literature, said you can tell a clever man […]
Read MoreFor over 40 years, I’ve been advising clients on the changing nature and role of strategic planning (or, perhaps more appropriately, thinking) in organically growing their enterprises and achieving high performance. As the world becomes more predictably unpredictable and planning paradigms evolve to keep up, the evolution continues. Most executives either suspect or assume their […]
Read MoreTough conversations involve issues you consider important but difficult to discuss with people you care about. The topics are matters you would prefer to avoid but know you can’t. Otherwise, things will go from bad to worse. These conversations are a normal part of living in a world where we can’t agree on everything, especially […]
Read MoreBias. We are hard-wired with biases at birth; it’s one way the brain sustains itself. Yet we generally believe we are less biased than others. Psychologists call this a blind spot because we cannot see what we don’t already know. Just as Goethe said we cannot hear what we don’t understand. I call it the […]
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