Reputable research says that, between the ages of two and five, children ask about 40,000 “why” questions. As adults, we tend to stop asking those kinds of questions on the assumption we know why. For better or worse, we have a genius for getting comfortable with the way things are, especially when they creep up on us incrementally. Unlike childhood, we stop asking, exploring and risking. We too often say “it is what it is,” immerse ourselves in the comfort of the status quo and nurture conventional thinking.
We rarely play to win; we just play not to lose. We go along to get along. We float or drift with the current of living and fabricate reasons to justify why we don’t do (or say) what we really want to do. As Paulo Coelha once opined, you drown not by falling into the river but by staying submerged in it. Jordan Belfort said it a different way: The only thing standing between you and your goal is the BS story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it. This too is part of the human condition. We selectively embrace information that validates our beliefs and overlook crucial insights that might challenge our assumptions. The antidote to escaping the river is to ignite curiosity. (It may also be one of the remedies to the affliction described in my last post.)
A curious mind is an open mind – one that searches for contrarian notions and possibilities while maintaining healthy scepticism. Curiosity is about stretching the boundaries and expanding our horizons; conformity is about being right and safe. When we fervently believe the words we say are invariably the correct or sensible ones, we stop being curious. The curious listen; the incurious rarely do. The curious cope better with rejection, exhibit less aggression and enjoy socializing. They learn a lot more and so become more adaptive, resilient and future-oriented.
Curiosity is a core competency of innovative, agile organizations. Those that stifle it become complacent, fail to learn from their mistakes, foster arrogance and miss out on growth opportunities. Yet too many leaders prefer dominance and obedience to transparency, radical candour, pushback and maverick behaviour. They frown on those who have the temerity to challenge them with difficult questions or go against the grain of corporate gospel and groupthink. When we believe in the correctness of our own views and become narrowly focused on our own agendas, we tune out opposing perspectives.
Though many like to say they’re being curious, most are drawn to conformist thinking and traditional ways of doing things. The greatest threats to success are imbedded in outdated practices. Being curious is more than an intellectual pursuit into the unknown. It enables us to engage in self-reflection – to become more aware of our limitations and implicit biases. It keeps our minds, as well as our relationships, healthy. It’s a lubricant for divergent thinking and opportunity finding. Those with high levels of curiosity enjoy better health and well-being, remember more and achieve more, and often experience greater vitality, meaning and overall satisfaction in their lives. It’s never too late to ask why.